Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why is India lagging behind China in economic development when India is a democracy while China isn’t?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Have you ever been humiliated in front of a group of girls and enjoyed it?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do narcissists want to hurt your feelings, even after they discard you?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What do men like to be given for their birthday?

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Is there a musician who has publicly stated that they do not want their music played by the Trump campaign or at a Trump rally? If so, who and why?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

CFPB enforcement lead resigns, slams ‘attack’ on core mission in departure email - CNN

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What's the hardest part about marriage that no one ever talks about?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Was Jesus Christ Jewish?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Can you share the entire summary of your spiritual life?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is